February 21, 2010

The Glass Shop 2010 Olympics

By Paul Bieber

It takes really hard work and extreme motivation to compete in Vancouver. When you hear the phrase “the best of the best”, it applies to every athlete, from every country.

Well, almost.

The Olympic Organizing Committee is working on the events for the Glass Shop Olympics. Your ace-number one investigative reporter has found out the events that will be contested. Here, now, for the first time in print, are the medal opportunities for this year’s Glass Shop Olympics.

  • The customer who complains the loudest about a wrong-sized piece of glass, when they brought in the measurements.
  • The estimator who miscounted the most openings in a building.
  • The employee with the most time off, who still has a job.
  • The auto glass installer with the dirtiest windshield on their personal car.
  • The general contractor with the most confusing contract.
  • The IG fabricator with most dirt inside a unit.
  • The salesman with the most offensive joke.
  • The structural engineer with the most math errors.
  • The secretary who writes the most wrong numbers on phone messages.
  • The architect who creates the most confusing plans.
  • The tempering plant manager who ships the most warped shower door.
  • The glazier who can work the most consecutive hours without a tape measure.
  • The blogger who writes the most ridiculous blogs in the glass industry. (My dog, Mollie, woofed that I deserve this one!)