April 11, 2010

Justin Bieber Doesn’t Live Here

By Paul Bieber


Justin Bieber.


If you have a teenage girl in your family you know who. Saturday night he was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live. He was the cover boy of US Magazine. He has performed on American Idol. Justin is the hottest new talent in music for the last couple of months. Gershwin has lasted seventy years, Beethoven over 250 years. A couple of months, though, is a lot better than I could do. But, alas, all of the talent in the Bieber clan went to Justin.

I learned about Justin a couple of months ago when our daughter, Jessica Bieber, told us about hundreds of emails she had received, addressed to JBieber. None were obscene, but all were syrupy and cute. They loved Justin and would do anything to get an email back. Jessica answered each one, telling the young girl, (there were no boys), that she was not that JBieber. She still gets a dozen a day.

Last week our phone started ringing off the hook. There were little voices asking to speak to Justin, asking if Justin lived here, asking for a photograph. My wife and I answered each call by saying Justin didn’t live here…the aggressive girls asked where did he live now? I kept those names and numbers if I ever open a call center.

Justin is sixteen years old, making a fortune, having young girls hang off his every word, and I am helping a client start up a lami business. Now, I love the glass industry. But I sure do regret passing on the music lessons my folks offered me when I was a kid. I opted to play little league instead.

I watched Saturday Night Live last night, and the most interesting point was that our pooch Mollie, barked at the screen when Justin came on. Maybe he is is a long lost relative. So, if you do have Justin’s number, tell him that Uncle Paul wants to say hello.

There is one good thing. All of my life, most people have pronounced my last name wrong. Most people say ‘BYEBER’ or ‘BEAVER’. In the last couple of months, when I meet someone new, they have no trouble with the name. Thanks for getting us some name recognition, Justin.