November 29, 2010

Finally, Something the Glass Industry Can Do Together

By Paul Bieber

News item: (From the AP) “Houston Astros owner Drayton McLane is putting his franchise up for sale. The 74-year-old McLane said he’s retained the New York investment firm Allen and Company to help him unload the team he purchased in November, 1992, for about $117 million.”

The article went on to say that the winning bid for the Astros will be about $500 million.

Here is my plan:

About 1,000 people a week read my blog. If only half of my readers send in one million dollars, we will have bought ourselves a team. Reach into that mattress, sell your boats and airplanes, give up buying lunch for a a couple of weeks and raising the money will be easy.

The glass industry will own the team. If you haven’t made up your mind yet, here is the clincher. My daughter, Jessica, suggested our new name for the team.

The Houston Glasstros.

It is perfect. What better use of your money could you find. There is no work in the industry, so you don’t have to buy inventory. USGlass Magazine is free, so cut back on your subscriptions to every thing else. Shop at WalMart instead of Nieman Marcus this holiday season, and you’ll have your million.

Each investor gets an autographed ball, two seats to a game of your choice, and in five years, when we sell the team to the Chinese government, you will double your money.

Drop me an email with your bank name and checking account number. I will then create a withdrawal for your million. If things are tight, you can request four payments, a week apart.

Yes, you have always wanted to own a big-league sports franchise, and now you can own one with all of your friends in the glass industry.

Play Ball!!!