March 4, 2013

I Lied at the End of Last Week’s Blog

By Paul Bieber

Sure did.  I thought this week’s blog would be a continuation of the story about being sued by a person you didn’t hire.  And then, because of my old age, I forgot about Glass Expo Northeast™ 2013 this week on Long Island.  So NEXT week I will continue the story of being sued. 

What is so important about Glass Expo Northeast anyway?  In one paragraph—you will learn what is new from 50+ vendors, you will learn from seminar speakers, you will learn from talking with other glass shop owners and leaders, you will learn from talking with consultants whose name begins with the letter B, and you will have a good time!  Did I mention that you will learn how to run your business better, make a little more profit, have happier customers and employees and enjoy yourself?

But here is the most important part, by far, of the Expo.  There is a special series of events that were not printed in the official program put together by Key Communications.  It seems that Lyle Hill of Chicago and I are going to engage in some special events.  Here they are:

  • 10:00 a.m. Thursday.  The filming of the Jockey underwear commercial featuring Lyle and me.  Location to be announced.  Are we boxer or brief guys?
  • 12:00 noon Thursday.  The Windwatch Hotel is on top of a hill on Long Island.  Lyle and I are starting on the top and rolling downhill.  Place your bet on which one of us gets there first.  There is no truth to the rumor that Lyle has an innate advantage because of his name; and if he does, I have a special advantage of my own–I am rounder than he is.
  • 1:00 p.m. Thursday.  A serious discussion on the future of the Chicago Cubs and the NY Mets.  Listen in to hear our prediction on which decade in the future each will win the World Series.  Location to be announced.
  • 3:00 p.m. Thursday.  A 5-minute race through the aisles of the glass show to see which of us can collect more freebies from the vendors.  The winner will be decided in two parts … who has the most freebies, and who has the heaviest bag of freebies.
  • 6:00 p.m. Thursday.  In the cocktail area.  Which one of us can drink more Shirley Temples, including eating the cherry, in 5 minutes? Immediately after the event, we will have our sugar checked by the attending physician.
  • Friday 10:00 a.m.  On the show floor.  Sponsored by a leading tempered glass fabricator.  We will each be positioned over a 5,000-gallon tank filled with freezing water.  You throw a 1-lb. steel ball at a piece of tempered glass over our heads.  If the glass breaks, one of us gets dunked.  You’ll learn how strong tempered glass really is!  (Please throw at Lyle, not me.)
  • Friday noon.  Chicago is famous for their loaded hot dogs, and on the East Coast we prefer Nathan’s.  The event is hot dog eating contest between Lyle and me.  Since the Chicago dog is heavier,  I have to eat two Nathan’s for each of Lyle’s Chicago dogs.  The physician and EMTs will vote on the winner.
  • Friday 2:00 p.m.  52-card pickup on the show floor.  We will each be blindfolded and Deb Levy will throw 52 business cards on the floor in front of us.  The winner picks up the most cards in 5 minutes.  Hints from the audience will be encouraged.

And folks, all of the above special events are why you really want to come to the Expo.  See you there.