March 31, 2014

April 1, 2015

By Paul Bieber

Sure, you are waiting for me to give some April Fool’s Day thoughts. You would expect nothing less of me; after all, my mind is slightly warped and I do tend to think outside of my baseball cap, so not to disappoint my loyal readers, here are the leading stories shown on™ on April 1, 2015.

  • Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton announces that, under her administration, no metal or glass will be imported from China until their pricing structures are not subsidized by the government.  After repeated questioning by reporters, she will not expand her comments to include the ever-dropping price and quality of fortune cookies.
  • Donald Trump again says it is okay to buy Chinese metal and glazing for his projects.  But not for yours.  After all, it is un-American.
  • 2014’s World Series Champs, the New York Mets, declare they are ready to defend their title in 2015.
  • There is no truth to the rumor that Corning Glass is buying the Bronx Zoo in order to get real gorillas to star in their Gorilla Glass commercials.
  • In 2015, so far, the glass industry is booming.  Everyone seems to have forgotten how slow we were a year or two ago.
  • Yesterday the Supreme Court refused to hear an appeal from Apple Computer trying to get a patent on all glass used everywhere in the world.  Can’t fault a company for trying.
  • Last Friday a new fabricator opened up in Chicago.  Three hours later it had received two bids to sell-out from the conglomerates.
  • By the latest estimate, there are now 19 different agencies in the U.S. Government setting energy standards used in construction.  (Wait a minute—that is no joke!)
  • The NRA has asked that no additional bullet-resistant glazing be installed in the U.S.  The organization wants its members to be able to shoot back at the bad guys.  They have commissioned an unnamed laminator to invent one-way bullet-resistant glass.
  • An upstart shower door company wanted to place an ad in USGlass, using me as a model in their shower.  USGlass Editor Ellen Rogers declined the ad, saying, “It would be cruel and unusual punishment inflicted upon our readers.”
  • And most importantly, Happy Birthday, Elaine.