Let’s Laugh Some More

Here is a list of some of greatest sentences you’ll ever read. I hope you laugh as hard as I did!

• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typ-O.
• The Eskimo walked into the glass shop to get a window for his home. The glass guy said he couldn’t because he ran out of ig-glue.
• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
• The glass on the 50th floor of a high rise broke. When I called the glass guy to fix it, he said he couldn’t. He didn’t know 50 stories.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. But then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• My patio door didn’t do it’s homework. The glass guy told me it failed.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of my communism class because of lousy Marx.
• All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. They have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro – what a rip-off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
• I walked into a glass shop with a picture of my broken glass. They said they couldn’t fix it because it was only a mirror image.
• I have a smart car with a broken windshield. The glass shop said they wouldn’t fix it because it was a wisecrack.