December 14, 2021

I Have a Friend In Congress

By Paul Bieber

His name is David Glassmen. You might not have ever heard of him; he is very low-key and really doesn’t do much except plan on getting re-elected every other year. He is not the brightest bulb on the chandelier of government. But he just did our industry a true favor, and didn’t even realize it.

You see, David succeeded in passing a bill honoring himself. He couldn’t say that in the bill, of course, but his bill set up a plan to have an “Honor Your Glassmen Day” on the government calendar. He was going to have a big party and get lots of good press in his hometown. He chose July 5 as his holiday so that he could get a longer time off from work along with July 4.

He had the research done and there were only a handful of people whose name is Glassmen who would get the extra day off. But what he didn’t count on was something as simple as a basic typo in the final printing of the law.

You see, instead of the “Glassmen” holiday, it became the “Glass Men” holiday. Get it?

People who identify themselves as “Glass Men” are now entitled to an additional holiday on July 5. It is the law of these United States.

When this mistake was shown to the Congressman, he didn’t care. He would still take his day off. And now, a hundred thousand or more glassworkers would get an extra paid holiday. David didn’t care as long as he got his day off.

What about “Glass Women,” the Congressman was asked. Well, he said, “It is a shame they can’t get the day off, but the law says glass men and not glass women, so too bad. There can’t be more than a handful of glass women anyway.”

So, my fellow glass men, leave your shop in the hands of the women you employ on July 5. I am willing to bet when you come back to work on the 6th, you will find a better run business.

I wish all of our readers the most enjoyable and safest of holidays. May you, your family and friends be healthy and free of COVID.