December 20, 2022

A Little Bit of Second-Grade Humor for All of Us!

By Paul Bieber
  1. What happened to the beans when they showed up late to work?
  2. How does an Eskimo fix his broken toys?
  3. Did you hear about the teacher who was cross-eyed?
  4. Why can’t a nose be twelve inches long?
  5. Name two days of the week that start with a “T.”
  6. A cowboy arrives at the ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is that?
  7. Why did the flamingo stand on one leg?
  8. What do you call bears with no ears?
  9. What kind of seafood tastes great with peanut butter?
  10. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
  11. What do you do when an elephant sneezes?
  12. Why do rhinos have so many wrinkles?
  13. What do you call a polar bear in Hawaii?
  14. How come hyenas are so healthy?
  15. What did the mama worm say to her daughter when she came home late?
  16. What is an alien’s favorite kind of candy?
  17. How did the French fry propose to the hamburger?
  18. What do you do if your dog steals your spelling homework?
  19. What do you get when your dog makes your breakfast?
  20. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?


  1. They got canned.
  2. With igloo.
  3. She couldn’t control her pupils.
  4. If it was, then it would be a foot.
  5. Today and tomorrow.
  6. His horse’s name is Friday.
  7. If she lifted the other leg, she’d fall over!
  8. B.
  9. Jellyfish.
  10. Ouch! Ouch!
  11. You get out of the way!
  12. Because they’re so hard to iron.
  13. Lost.
  14. Because laughter is the best medicine.
  15. Where on earth have you been?
  16. A Mars Bar.
  17. He gave her an onion ring!
  18. Take the words right out of his mouth.
  19. You get pooched eggs!
  20. Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

A note from Paul: I wish each of you a healthy and safe holiday. May your special gift be the opportunity to spend time with your family and friends. I hope you and yours remain healthy for the upcoming year.